Bear's Elemental Mayhem

Top Headlines from Around the World (3)

1. Aerial Showdown: ChryoTech refuses to back down from its claims that only they can fly without worry for of incurring elemental wrath. Rodney & Flecks continues to claim that the CT guys are full of hot air, and that anyone with the means can now fly. Last week we reported that R&F was going to be putting on Aerial Ballet to launch their full reopening of the airways. Well, things have now escalated, with CT now joining in the airshow. Cid Lufaine stated “Our planes will be painted red, in order to match the R&F ones after they catch fire.” Regardless of who comes out on top, this is going to be an event you don’t want to miss.

2. Poor Mixer: David Wong, of child teleportation infamy, has been relocated to solitary confinement. It would seem the inmates at Folsom Prison don’t take too kindly to pervy perps responsible for sending an untold number of youngsters off to truly harrowing lives. The Warden, Ronnie Cash, hopes that this maneuver will help Mr. Wong live to see his court date in four months. Mr. Wong is accused of being an accessory to 7 counts of kidnapping and the illegal construction of a teleportation device which resulted in 312 patent violations.

3. Leaving No Survivors: The Federal States of Telpin’s reigning champions, the Gor’Rahm Reavers, have ended this years crushball season with a flawless record of 37-0-0. Such a feat has not been seen in the history of the sport, which originated 238 years ago when a drunken rugby team met an equally inebriated soccer team on a basketball court. The visceral nature of the sport has only helped to enhance its fame, and enormous crowds turn out to support their favorite teams. Also, in keeping with tradition, all players must be drunk prior to the starting of each match. Liver failure and head trauma are the leading reasons why few players of the sport reach “retirement age”.

4. Snow Place Like Home: The Ice Elemental seems to have chosen this years path to the North (please see map on page E4). All occupants of the Jurai Isles are urged to temporarily vacate their homes until the danger has passed. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to empty your pipes and turn off your water lines. At its current rate of speed, the Ice Elemental should reach its new winter home in roughly 7 weeks. The citizens of Los Wegas are also urged to make preparations should the behemoth decide to make landfall in your region. We’ll keep you posted of any new developments.

Top Headlines from Around the World (2)

1. ChryoTanked: Stock shares plummet for the “heroes of the skies”. Rodney & Flecks have accused CT of spreading misinformation and false advertising with regards to Cid Lufaine’s claims of Air Elemental proof planes. R&F states that they know for a fact that the Air Elemental is not being fooled, but is actually deceased. To back up its claims, R&F will be hosting an aerial ballet using planes which were grounded two years ago. The event is scheduled two weeks from today, so get ready to see which monopoly is being honest, and which one stands to go down in flames! (Shares dropped from $169 a piece to $137)

2. O.F.F. is back ON: The chart topping band, Our Freudian Friendship, has announced an end to their hiatus. They plan on kicking things off with a tour starting in their hometown of Zeru and sweeping across the globe. All capital cities are on the hit list, so keep and eye out for ticket sales in your area. The band denies all claims that they’ve been working on a new album in secret, but they did have a new single for all the disk jockeys. The new song is titled “Head Crab vs. Face Hugger” is already headed for the stars.

3. A.I. gone M.I.A.: Our Lady of the Web has been absconded with! Or so claims a handful of nutters from the blacker depths of the innerspace. Techies, geeks and cyber-savants are all up in arms over the sudden absence of their mistress, but there is not once shred of evidence to their claims. When asked about the matter, the spokesmen at Goskorporatsiya would only smile and say that stealing a program that has strong-armed itself into demi-godhood would be akin to eating a mountain. The man also vaguely hinted at the possibility that even the great Anastasia was past due for a replacement. Anastasia 2.0?

4. Dude, where’s my scientist: Dr. Daedalus Mayer has been missing after his lab was bombed by squirrel zombie-slaves. I kid you not. Three scientists were under the effects of a squirrel mind control device that backfired, causing for them to become the unwilling slaves to their new overlord. They were under the influence for roughly 4 days before their master, Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All, forced them to assault the neighboring lab with squirrely wrath! The Formians of Yggdrasil put the rebellion down in short order, and once freed the scientists turned on their former master. So if you see Dr. Mayer, please send him home to his wife. She is “way sad and stuff” at his “not cool” decision to skip dinner last night.

Top Headlines from Around the World (1)

1) Lightning Strikes: There is another name to ascribe to the great list of those slain by the embodiment of nature’s wrath. Little Timmy Wrothburg succumbed to his wounds late last night. For those not following the story, Timmy was one of 53 people who were harmed during the Lightning Elemental’s assault on Falaran last Tuesday. Phone pictures sent in from the event can be found on our website (NSFW: gore, violence, dude-becomes-tree).

2) Girls Gone Home: Seven young ladies were rescued from a kidnapping ring based out of the Old Town section of Falaran late Wednesday evening. A member of a Mage Guild Hunter Squad followed a hunch that ended with the kind of heroics we have come to expect and love from our Hunters. The leader of the elite four man team, Dr. Henry Jeckyll, told reporters “I’m just glad that we were able to put a stop to things before anyone was hurt. Y’know, aside from the kidnappers.”

3) A Moment of Silence: The Minister of the Mage Guild gave a touching ceremony and ordered a moment of silence to honor those who perished in the terrorist attack against the Embassy in Gor’Rahm. The Minister assured the grieving that their loved ones would never be forgotten and that Jacob Harmon would be brought to justice. The Embassy is expected to reopen in six months with a new wing dedicated to the deceased. FYI, the exterior of the new Embassy will not be made entirely from glass.

4) Glacier Ahoy: As spring returns to the southern hemisphere and fall to the north, the world braces itself to see which path the Ice Elemental will take this year in it’s bi-annual trek for a new winter home. For those of you who failed geography, the Ice Elemental relocates to whichever pole is soon to be experiencing winter by riding a giant glacier straight through anything in its path. All commercial fishers and boat enthusiasts will need to keep track of the frozen behemoth’s whereabouts in order to ensure their safety.

5) Come Fly the Friendly Skies: ChryoTech has announced that the Air Elemental is no longer a threat, thanks to their newly patented airplane designs. Cid Lufiane, Chief of Engineering, claims that their planes are the only ones in the world that are able to slip through the airstream undetected. The company is as tight-lipped as ever about their secrets, but we can tell you that not a single one of the planes at the ChryoTech Air Show was harmed in any way. Airports from around the world are dusting off their counters in anticipation for next months official Sky Launch.

Terrorists in the Teleporter
Totally should have disarmed that bomb....

Cid Lufaine:
“Gentlemen, glad you could make it. The task which you were all summoned for, while not particularly perilous, is a matter of much worth to ChryoTech Industry and the Northern and Southern Cameria governments. I was asked to put together a team for the purpose of going into Ground Zero, Balmorhea. Any rumors you may have heard about it being plagued by berserk security bots and mutated monstrosities are absolutely true, and much worse in reality. Now, the reason we invited you men here is to enter into the heart of what was once Balmorhea and attempt to retreive as much data about the experiments they were conducting there as is possible. Our very own Dr. Henry Jekyll will be leading this campaign into the unknown and you are to report directly to him once in the field. We’ll also be sending about a dozen scientists of various backgrounds who will be in charge all information extraction. You gentlemen are to be the muscle to their brains. A shield, if you will. You keep my boys safe and sound and you’ll receive a heroes welcome when you come back. Any questions?”

The party stares wide-eyed at the man who just offhandedly announced that he would be sending them into the post-apocalyptic lion’s den.

Cid Lufaine:
“Didn’t think so. Great! I’d like for everyone to introduce themselves. You’re a team now and the more you act like one, the more likely you are to return with all of your extremities.”

One by one, the strangers make their introductions. Henry Jeckyll leads things off, as the appointed party head should. Paxton Romanis gives his name and proudly announces that he shoots things until they stop moving. Next a man who only goes by Rache gives his credentials, which Pax finds laughable. Unamused, the enigmatic illusionist proceeds to make Pax believe that Cid’s desk has just morphed into a giant snake.

Cid Lufaine:
“Pax, is there some reason you feel compelled to threaten my desk that costs more than you do?”

Rache releases the illusion and Pax is now staring at a normal desk and an irritated Cid.

Paxton Romanis:
“I… uh… the snake? Nevermind.”

The gunslinger holsters his weapons and the remaining introductions are settled. Aves Gearhand lets the party know that he’ll be handling all of the technical side of things for this mission. And lastly, Ervill Wexling gives the bare minimum of an introduction to conclude matters.

Cid Lufaine:
“The Southern Military has sent several expeditions into Balmorhea All were failures and only one operative has ever come back from that place. He’d bitten off his tongue and was extremely malnourished when the Ground Zero border patrol found him. The survivor, if you can call him that, recovered physically, but his mind was never able to recoup after what he saw there. When he isn’t sedated, he draws these. Not sure what it is, but I imagine that anything that can destroy numerous military scouting parties and obliterate a man’s mind can’t be pleasant.”

Cid passes around crayon pictures of the most macabre nature. Each one picturing some being composed completely of black tearing little stick figures apart.

“Well, gentlemen, that concludes our meeting for today. You’ll meet up with a Southie military man named Davis once you come out of the Tele in Zeru. He’s our in with the Southern Cameria government and the one spearheading this venture, so do as he says and you’ll be able to explore a post-apocalyptic hell hole. Good Luck.”

Cid hands Jekyll a photo of Davis and dismisses the group.

Party Assemble!
Atleast it pays the bills.

Your eComm lets out a low pitched hum that only you can hear, and you sub-vocalize to pull up the holographic display. The image of a formal letter, encrypted for your eyes only, floats in the air before you with the following message:

Dear Sir,

Your presence has been requested for a job on the 8th of Terva. It has come to our attention that you possess certain skills which we feel would be beneficial to a scouting sortie we are organizing. This mission should take no more than three days, two of which will be travel. Of course, all expenses will be paid for the entire duration of your contract. Please let us know if you are interested in taking on our proposal. Upon your consent, we will furnish you with the time and location of the debriefing.

We thank you for your time and consideration.


Cid Lufaine
Chief of Engineering and Aviation
ChryoTech Industry
Dept. of Research & Development
eComm: 01-9500-8028-2148

You accept the mission and a secondary note pulls up giving you the time and place of your meeting.


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